Werepoodle
by musical-ink-exchange
Summary: Alice is a mastermind of the beauty world, and she doesn't always use her powers for good. Unfortunately for Jacob, he's about to see just how devious the little pixie-vamp can be. platonic alice/jacob
1. Chapter 1

**Newly edited story! Woot! Much, much, better and longer, yay! Thanks to mah beta Neon Chandelier for being a fantabulous beta! Please read and enjoy, and don't forget to R&R!  
**

**Discalaimer: i do not own twilight, so sad :(**

APOV

"Bella! Bella! I have a great idea!" I shouted with excitement. I was just searching for the perfect new outfit for Bella, when I saw a sign in a salon for perms at 20% off.

I guess Bella noticed my gaze toward the perm sign, because she immediately looked like she was searching for an escape route. "I AM NOT, I REPEAT, NOT, GETTING A PERM!" She stated in a very stern voice.

"That's not it! You wouldn't look good with a perm anyway. Maybe if we straighten your hair though..."

"NO! I want my hair to stay the same!" Bella shouted.

"Fine! God Bella, why are you so grumpy?"

"Maybe it's the fact that I was forced to go shopping, which I hate, against my own free will! Not to mention that I have been forced to try on so many shoes that I have blisters the sizes of footballs covering almost every inch my feet, and lines all over my body from where you made me try on countless outfits that are way too tight! You are tiring me out Alice! " Bella ceased her ranting to glare moodily at me.

How can she _not_ like shopping? And none of those outfits were too tight! Just because they weren't baggy and saggy didn't mean that they didn't fit. "And here I thought I was making an Alice Cullen out of you! What a shame." I said shaking my head back and forth. "Anyway! That's not what I meant by my having a great idea."

"Oh. Then what is it this time?" she asked in a tired voice. God! Human or not, shopping shouldn't tire her out. It just makes me even more energetic!

"We have somewhere else we need to go!" I announced, dragging her out to my shiny yellow Porsche.

Once we got there, I pulled out my cell phone and called Emmett. "EmmettwillyoupleasebringBella'struckdowntothetreatylineIamgoingtoplaysortofaprankonJacobbutIneedBellatogogethim..." I used my vampire speed to talk fast, knowing that Emmett could understand me and Bella couldn't. She'd never help me pull off a prank on Jacob if she knew what she was doing to the mongrel. "Okay. Great! Thanks Emmett...Bye!" I finished the conversation using my normal speed to talk.

"What did you just say to Emmett?" Bella asked.

"Nothing important."

"But you were using your fast voice that all of you vampires use when you don't want me to know what you're saying." she answered giving me a look that said "Yeah, right. I doubt it!".

"Come on Bella! It was Emmett I was talking to. You can't trust him with anything important."

"Good point."

Then I noticed that we were almost to the treaty line, so I pressed the brakes and stopped. I saw that Emmett was waiting with the truck so I gently pushed Bella out of my car. "Bella," I started, "I need you to go get Jacob and bring him to the house. I'll meet you there, okay?'

"Um, okay?" Bella asked, getting into her truck. She had no clue what we would want with him yet, but she would soon see. After we saw that she had safely passed out of our line of sight, Emmett slid into the Porsche with me and we sped off.

"I'm going to need to grab a few things. Okay, Emmett?" I asked him.

"Yeah, sure. But what exactly are you going to do to Jacob?" he asked me.

"Oh, Emmett, if I tell you now it will ruin the surprise!" I said in my most sinister voice. I still sounded rather chipper, but hopefully that just made me seem a tad more innocent. I turned right at the nearest stoplight and stopped at the mall in Port Angeles. I was going to need a "Do it yourself perm" kit, and a few other things.

I so loved the beauty and fashion world, and I was sure that after this everyone else in my family would too.

**A/N: well have u figured out wut alice will do 2 jacob? tell me in your reviews! :)**


	2. Pie

**JACOB POV**

I yawned for what seemed like the thousandth time that day. _'Why does math homework have to be so hard?'_ I thought to myself. '_I can't figure this out!' _I frowned down at my geometry worksheet and let forth as fearsome growl as I could without waking my napping father. _'I hate homework! I hate school! I know some things in math are important but when will I ever need to use the square root of pie? What will I need it for? Why do I need to know this? Why, why, __**why**__?!'_

What I needed was a distraction, but I doubted one would be coming soon. There hadn't been any disturbances in a Pus lately. Even the pack drama had calmed lately.

"Jacob? Jacob? Are you here?" I heard my favourite voice call from the driveway. Finally, there was something fun to do around here! Something other than homework and turning into a giant wolf. Bella was here!

"I'm out back, Bells!" I called to her.

"Oh, Jake there you are." Bella came strolling around the house casually. She looked at total ease as she entered the garage, and gave me an easy smile. "Alice sent me to get you," she explained. "I have no idea what she wants except that she has a plan." Oh man, last time Alice had a plan she sent Bella to get me causing Edward to have a spaz attack on both me and Alice which made us both run away to Arizona. It was nice there, and I had enjoyed it before the rest of the Cullens showed up to get us. _Without _Edward or Bella. On the bright side, the spaz attack foiled Alice's plan, which I later found out was to give me a complete female make over. I wondered what she had in mind this time.

"Bella, you know what happened last time Alice had a plan involving me right?" She nodded as her answer. "And we wouldn't want that to happen again, right?"

She nodded once again and then continued. "Yeah, I know, but I'm kinda scared of what Alice will do if I don't bring you with me back to the Cullen's." Well I don't really want to get her in trouble with Alice. She may be tiny, but she's a devious, viscous little pixy!

I racked my brain for a valid excuse. "Oh, well...I have to finish my math homework! My dad said I can't go any where until I do!" It was at least a real excuse, even though I am using it to get out of something it's true! "My dad had told me that I couldn't go any where until I finished my math homework."

"Oh," Bella said. The expression on her face had turned from scared and worried to thoughtful, like she was trying to think. "Well, what do you have to do?"

"I just have to calculate the square root of pie."

But then I caught on to Bella's idea. "Bella, no! As much as I would _love_ it if someone other than myself did my homework--" But it was too late, she was already scribbling down notes onto a scrap piece of paper.

"There. All done." She smiled up at me, looking up through her lashes.

"But...My math teacher will recognize that the hand writing isn't mine."

"Then copy it out onto a good piece of paper." I sighed. She looked so hopeful, so I did as Bella said and began to copy out the answer she wrote. When I was done she made her demand. "Okay, now lets go!" She grabbed my hand and tried to pull me to her truck. It wasn't really working out for her though.

"Come on Jake!"

"But what if my math teacher asks me to say the answer out loud or write it on the bored _after_ I've handed it in?" I asked. _'Please, Bella. If you love me you won't make me go. Don't you love me anymore?"_

"Then Study the answer before you hand it in or write it on your hand or something!" Bella exclaimed impatiently.

Darn Alice! She must have given Bella a time frame or something. "But-"

"No more buts! The only butt I want to see is yours in my truck!" She yelled. Then she summed up all of her human strength, grabbed my hand and tried, again, to pull me toward her truck.

She did not succeed.

"Bella, no matter how hard you try, you, a human, will not be able to pull me, a were-wolf, to your truck." I told her.

"Pleeeeaaase Jacob! Please get in my truck! Just for me?" Bella whined, giving me her pouty puppy face. Man, she knew I had a crush on her and that if she gave me her pouty dog face that I would do anything she asked. That cheater. _Why,why, __**why**__?!_

"Fine!" I gave up. I couldn't disappoint her.

I let her take my hand again and allowed her to guide me to her truck. When we got to the truck I got in the passenger seat and she got in the driver's side. She started the truck and I we began to drive to what would be either the most embarrassing moment of my life, or my doom.

well, wut do ya think? what will happen 2 Jacob? **review**!!!!!


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